I’ve been an active part of the body positivity community since 2015 and I’m just now 100% confident going to the beach in my hometown. 

That’s four years. 

I don’t know what it is, but there’s something about being in a new place when traveling that makes you brave. Maybe it’s because you think you’ll probably never see those people again, so who cares? So going to the beach or dressing slightly more showy isn’t as big a deal as doing so where you live. Where you might run into someone you know. Or in front of those closest to you. 

Let’s backtrack. I’m originally from Miami and for as long as I remember I have absolutely hated Miami and feared Miami Beach. I have always associated Miami and Miami Beach with vain, materialistic people. Judgmental people who prioritized looks. It’s always been a place for pretty people with pretty bodies. You guessed it, my body wasn’t considered pretty. So for me, each visit was uncomfortable and more of an exercise in covering up than having fun. 

My journey towards loving my body has been life-long, but for the majority of my life the goal was to change my body to fit the mold.

My journey to body positivity and loving my body as it is and for what it can do started around 2014. I had finally gotten into a workout routine and healthy lifestyle that I actually enjoyed that didn’t completely take over my entire life. I had friends who truly liked me for me and who encouraged me to be exactly who I was, how I was.

And then there were ups and downs. Moves. Travels. Attempts at dating. Family stuff. 

In 2017 and 2018, I started making more actively body positive choices. Before then, I never really followed any fat or plus size influencers. Sure, I wanted to support them in theory, but I didn’t actually do it. Until then. Over time, I delved into that world more, which meant more influencers, bloggers and writers. Now I was seeing, hearing and reading information all the time. From a diverse group of people. Slowly I started to think about myself the way these women spoke about themselves. They helped me to believe in myself and truly appreciate my self and my body. 

Fast forward to now. August 2019. I just came back from a trip where I was in a bathing suit (and not much else) for a week, in front of people, and it didn’t phase me. I played beach volleyball, frisbee and sat around and didn’t give it a thought. Then I went to a public beach and did the same thing. Did I notice a few pairs of eyes? Sure. But they just rolled off my back and that has NEVER HAPPENED before. 

So why am I sharing this? Initially this was just something I was writing for me, because I needed to really think this through. Then I realized, I’ve never read this before. I’d previously seen people’s before and afters but never the in between, not truly. I also never really examined how I saw myself and my place until I saw other bodies like mine. Sure, the whole ‘fake it til you make it’ thing was a concept I theoretically believed in, but now that I’ve practiced it, I realize it’s true. But also, that there really is no making it. Not yet. I don’t think I’ll just be perpetually happy and confident 24/7. That doesn’t seem possible, and that’s ok. 

I understand now there is so much more to loving my body than just looking in the mirror and liking what I see. It’s a process, not a diet or exercise plan. It’s about taking a 360 degree look at my life and my self and doing the work on every part of me. It’s about balance, understanding and patience. It’s also about realizing sometimes life is a pain and it sucks. And we have to live in those bad moments without letting them derail or take over our lives, which can be incredibly difficult. My journey to body positivity is still just beginning, but I feel better and more myself every day.

So if you’re anywhere in a body positivity journey, congratulations. Honestly, getting here is half the battle. Now, surround yourself with people like you. Let them help you, encourage you and join you on that journey. Then you’ll be able to turn around and do the same thing for them and let it fulfill you like it is fulfilling me. 

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