What I’m referring to as my second phase of being quarantined in Madrid covers from about March 16 through April 5. Two and a half weeks may not seem like a long time, but they can feel like a lifetime. They were a stark contrast from the first week of confinement and definitely provided some challenges.
The first two weeks were difficult, but fine. My new roommate moved in on March 1, so it was a rough time getting acquainted. I’m pretty introverted where she’s quite extroverted, which was really challenging for me. March 18th was the first day I totally lost it. I turned my assignments in on time and laid in bed almost the entire rest of the day. The first cry of the day hit me suddenly; I didn’t realize how crowded and claustrophobic I’d been feeling until that one. I cried two more times that day, the last one finally taking all my stress and tension with it. You know those cries when you feel a weight lifted off your shoulders? That was my third cry. It was also my turning point.
Let’s start from the beginning.
On March 16 I’d made my Quarantine To-Do List. You know, all the things I’d been putting off forever or never had time for? I wrote them all down to keep me accountable. Up until March 18, I was in survival mode: get client work done, clean (as a way to stay sane) and practice yoga. March 19, the day after my turning point, I finally had a little room to breathe. Client work was slowing down a bit and none of my teachers had really asked much of me, so I suddenly lost any sense of schedule. This is when the problems truly started.
When I’m not on a schedule and lose my routine, I become an insomniac. I binge-watch Netflix and fall down some really intense YouTube rabbit holes. If I don’t have to be up at a particular time in the day, I don’t set an alarm and next thing you know I’m going to bed at 3 am and waking up at noon. I can usually pull this off on a weekend, because eventually Monday comes and I start my routine up again. With no end to the quarantine and nobody imposing any kind of schedule? This went on almost a full week.
On March 20, we finally got official guidance from school regarding the status quo and how we would work moving forward. This was great! I’d missed communicating with my students and needed to work in order to feel motivated. Unfortunately, my sleep schedule only got worse. I wasn’t on any strict timeline, so as long as I got my work done it didn’t quite matter. Eventually I was going to bed at 5 am and waking up at 2 p.m. My days were completely inverted. Hell, my mom (in Florida!) was waking up earlier than I was, and I was 5 hours ahead of her. To make matters worse, I was irritable and ravenous and working up the energy to work out was a nightmare.
Things finally started turning around.
Things came to a head when I went to bed one night at midnight only to wake up at 2 am. What I thought was my evening sleep turned out to be a nap, followed by a Netflix binge (yes, I finally watched Tiger King). At 6 am I finally decided rather than try to sleep I was going to head straight into the next day. Maybe that would reset my sleep schedule? Wrong. A 5 hour-long afternoon nap followed that boost of energy. So did another sleepless night. You know how in movies people get that really empty look in their eyes and rather than bags, it looks like their eyes are kind of sunken in? I hadn’t seen it in real life until now.
On Wednesday, April 1, I took my weekly grocery store trip and added a stop at the pharmacy. Oh yes, my roommate and I only leave the apartment once a week, and on the same day, to minimize the amount of disinfecting we have to do. That night, I took two sleeping pills to knock me out. Fell asleep at 2 am and woke up at 2:30 pm Thursday afternoon. I tried to continue sleeping, hoping to sleep through to Friday. I finally gave in and got up at 5 pm. Surprisingly, I had a productive day and tired myself out. I took one sleeping pill that night at 11:30 and passed out at midnight.
Friday, April 3 I was a new human. I’d slept a full 8 hours, had a productive day and resisted my afternoon nap. I fell asleep at midnight Friday night and woke up at 7:30 am Saturday. I made a real effort to make it feel like a true weekend, focusing on relaxing rather than trying to make myself feel “productive.” From what I can tell, keeping something of a regular weekly schedule, maintaining the difference between week and weekend, is one of the best things we can do to stay sane during this lockdown. So far it appears to be true.
Quarantined in Madrid, phase three.
Monday, April 6 I woke up rested and refreshed. That was definitely another turning point for me. I won’t go into too much detail yet, but let’s just say I finally felt like my life was back on track. Well. As “back on track” as it can be in these crazy circumstances.
I’ve learned a ton so far being quarantined in Madrid, with a stranger, away from family and with very little access to the outdoors. As terrible as this situation is on a global scale, I’m interested to see how long it lasts and how I am able to grow as a result of this situation.
Let’s hope the next phase continues to be as good as I hope!
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